Well, it’s a good starting point when you realise what true love is not!
Did the past year disappoint you in matters of the heart? Chances are there are many people who experienced relationships that didn’t fulfil their expectations. For some, relationships may have ended up in a disaster as a result of lies and betrayal. For others it may have been a realisation that two people were travelling different paths with very different values. Perhaps love eluded you for other reasons.
If you managed to avoid disasters in love, you may have felt a deep void in your heart and an aching desire to fill it with the love of another person. Perhaps you have spent days, weeks, months or longer, seeking love, yearning for connection and deep fulfilment. However, as time passes you noticed the void remains, or worse still, it may have deepened. There’s a chance you may have given up and felt the pain of rejection, hopelessness, and the belief that true love has eluded you forever (well, almost).
Fear not my friend. Real love does exist, and it begins with you. What? Yes, it’s true. You may have given all your attention and focus to searching for love outside of yourself. You may have looked for validation and approval that you are good enough, or you have longed for connection with someone else, perhaps from a person who has become the obsessive object of your attention.
No matter how much you tried to give love and yearn for the same in return, love may have eluded you over and over. Why do you suppose this is?
There may be a whole host of reasons. However, I do believe that when we are so intent on giving love away, without first giving love to our self, we become like the repelling magnet that pushes energy in the opposite direction. Love has no chance of coming close to us.
What have you noticed about your habits with regards to loving yourself? When was the last time you gave due attention for how you want to feel? Are you nourishing your health and wellbeing? Are you giving yourself the time, energy and attention to do the things you love most? How do you talk to yourself? Are you kind, compassionate and non-judgmental, or do you self-criticise and allow your mind to conjure up the worst scenarios about your lack of this or that?
When we pour love into our self, it’s not being selfish. It’s knowing our true value, and that we are capable of taking care of our own needs. After all, no-one knows you better than yourself. We often leave the nurturing and loving up to our partner, family or friends. There is nothing wrong with receiving their love, however it is not their responsibility to meet your individual needs. They cannot be tuned into you and what you desire 24/7. It is your responsibility to love yourself and meet your needs first. Stand up and love you.
When we do what makes us happy, what nurtures our mind, body and soul, we demonstrate that we truly value our self. The Law of Attraction recognises this and will always deliver an equal measure of whatever you are thinking, doing, and intending, for better or worse. When you actively love yourself, you will attract more of this into your life and in your experiences. As certain as the law of gravity, we can be sure that the law of attraction draws toward us whatever we focus on. As you give to yourself, the void you were previously experiencing disappears and you feel a new kind of love and abundance within. Now you have plenty to share, and a heart that is full. You are coming from a place of personal fulfilment, not from a place of emptiness and lack.
Rather than be like the repelling magnet to love in your life, make a shift to become the love magnet that attracts love. As you pour more love into yourself, and you live knowing how to enjoy life with gratitude and joy, the universe will mirror this back to you. It’s not rocket science!
Take a breather from trying to make love happen and get comfortable in your own skin. Experience love from within, knowing you have all you need to feel the beauty and freedom of true love. Love all of who you are and enjoy your life. Love all the quirks, the fabulous bits and the not so fabulous bits. All of you matters and all of you is loveable. It may take a shift from your old way of thinking, but you can do this.
What makes you feel good inside? Remember, keep it upbeat and healthy. There are resourceful and non-resourceful ways to give to yourself. True love values who you are, so be mindful about what you think, what you do and how you choose to be. True love honours and respects the unique soul being you are.
Experiment with different ways to love and nurture you. Perhaps you can enjoy moments of pampering yourself, connecting with friends, or losing yourself in your favourite hobby or sport. Maybe you love time alone to read a book, listen to music, have a sleep, or enjoy a relaxing bath. Practice loving you as often as possible. If you have been in deficit for a long time in terms of feeling ‘love’ you may need to practice this to really experience a wonderful new way of being in love. Be kind to yourself. Avoid feeling impatient or critical. The better you become at planting the best seeds in your garden of love, the more amazing your blooms will be. What a great way to attract those gorgeous bees into your garden!
Live with love for yourself, and you will experience the fullness of true love.
Soul Coaching and Spiritual Guidance ~ LivingWithSpice.com.au